Ministry of women in the Church

Till very recently there used to be a custom among the brethren during the marriage ceremony. The minister who solemnizes the marriage used to read from Matt. 19:2-6 and make the newly married couple to say Amen for the statement, "what therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (V.6). But now-a-days, some of the ministers read Matt. 19:2-9 without giving any explanations; this tends to create a sense that Bible teaches divorce.

A growing tendency of divorce is seen even among the believers today. Much effort is given to prove that divorce is biblical. However, Bible does not teach this. Let us examine a few evidences.

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A. Divorce and Remarriage After Divorce are not Biblical

1. God is the one who unites a man and a woman in marriage. Therefore, man has no authority to separate what God has joined together (Matt. 19:6). God views the marital relationship as inseparable from the very inception of marriage. This is clearly expressed in several passages (Gen. 1:27; 2:24; Matt. 19:4-6).

2. Adam and Eve became sinners after God had established the marriage. Though Adam and Eve were cursed by God as a result of their sin, God did not separate Adam from Eve who had led him to sin.

3. Deuteronomy 24: 1,2 states the permission Moses had given to divorce a wife after giving a bill of divorcement. However, Jesus Christ made it clear that Moses gave that permission because of the hard-heartedness of the children of Israel (Matt. 19:6-8; Mark 10:3-5). Divorce is not the programme of God (Mark 10: 9-12).

4. Many of our brethren teach that Old Testament permits divorce. They take their support from Jeremiah 3:8 where it is stated that Jehovah had put away the adulterous Israel and given her the bill of divorce. But verses 12 and 13 make it clear that God did not cast away the nation of Israel forever. He earnestly desired for their restoration. This truth is clearly expressed in the first few verses of Hosea 14.

Though Judah was taken into Babylonian captivity, God had brought her back under the leadership of Zerubbabel, Ezra and Nehemiah. Old Testament emphatically states that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16)

5. Divorce and remarriage after divorce are not permitted by the Lord Jesus Christ. (Luke 16:18; Mark 10:6-12).

6. Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 are quoted by some to teach that divorce is allowed where adultery is involved.

Gospel according to Matthew was written for the Jewish people. Any interpretation of this gospel should be based on the principle of contextual interpretation. Among the Jews the marriage proposals are brought and fixed by the parents. This engagement was known as betrothal. After the betrothal they are known as the husband and wife; but they don't live together for the next one year (Matt. 1:18,20). They would stay in their respective homes. The purity of the virgin is examined during the year. If the virgin is not pure, it will be known by every one. Upon the completion of one year period of separation, the bridegroom goes to the house of the bride and in a procession takes her to his own home. Here Lord teaches that during this period of separation a husband can put his wife away due to fornication. One should note that the cause is 'fornication' and not 'adultery.' This is evidenced from the Greek New Testament (For a detailed explanation of this please see Issue No. 5 given in this site).

Mark 10 is a parallel passage of Matthew 19. Here you should notice that fornication as a reason for putting away one's wife is not stated. This gospel was aimed at Gentiles. Therefore, we should recognize that the fornication as a cause for putting away one's wife was given in the context of the Jews. This fact is also evidenced from Mark. Jesus said in 10:9 "What therefore God had joined together, let not man put asunder." After this conversation Jesus came to the home. When they were in the house His disciples asked Him again concerning the divorce. What was His reply? "Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10: 10-12).

7. After describing the marital responsibilities of wife and husband, Paul says in Ephesians "this is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church" (Eph. 5:32). Since no one can separate Christ and the Church, God does not permit anyone to separate husband and wife.

8. Permission for the divorce and remarriage after divorce are not given even in the epistles. Paul's words are very clear and emphatic: "A wife must not leave her husband. But if she is separated from him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not divorce his wife" (1 Cor. 7: 10,11). Even if the life partner is an unbeliever and willing to stay with the other partner who is a believer, the believer should not divorce him/her (1 Cor. 7:12,13). It is not the believer, but the unbeliever who takes the decision concerning the divorce (1 Cor. 7:15). We should not blame a believer when his/her partner who is an unbeliever leaves him/her because of the faith of the believer in the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 7:15). In that case the believer is not permitted to marry. Bible does not permit a remarriage after the divorce. But after the death of the unbelieving separated partner, the believer is permitted to remarry a believer (Romans 7:2,3; 1 Cor. 7:11,39).

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B. The Responsibility of the Believers

1. Conduct Awareness Programmes

It is the responsibility of the Assembly to teach the believers that divorce and remarriage after the divorce are unbiblical. The Assembly can perform this responsibility through Bible Classes, Word-ministry, Sunday School, Youth Meeting, etc.

2. Understand the Responsibility Involved in Marital Life

The understanding one usually receives from low-standard books and various media is perverted. The Bible is the only book that helps us to understand the things related to marriage and its various responsibilities. It is essential for us to fulfill these responsibilities for a successful married life.

a. Mutual faithfulness: Marital unfaithfulness is one of the reasons for broken families. God wants the husbands and the wives to be faithful to each other in their public and private lives. Both should be faithful in things related to finance, sexual affairs and marital responsibilities. "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband" (1 Cor. 7:3 cf. Mal. 2: 14-16).

b. Mutual respect: Mutual respect is demanded from both the husband and the wife. Bible teaches that wives should respect the husbands (Eph. 5:33); it also demands the same from the husbands (1 Pet. 3:7). The habit of publicly pointing the faults of one's life partner in front of the friends and the family members may result in family problems.

c. Mutual love: Often we hear about the love of husbands to the wives. Husband should love his wife as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25). A husband ought to have the agape love which is the unconditional love of Christ.

The Bible also mentions about a wife's love to her husband. Young women should love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Paul makes it clear that a wife should love her own husband. A loving wife should demonstrate her love to her husband through her submission (Eph. 5:22,24), reverence (Eph. 5: 33), and obedience (1 Peter 3:6).

3. Arrange Pre-marital Counseling

It is a good practice to give pre-marital counseling. The Elders, Evangelists and the Bible Teachers should take the responsibility to counsel the bridegroom and the elder sisters could do the same for the bride. Giving a special counseling for both the bride and the groom by the minister who performs the marriage solemnization is also advisable.

4. Conduct Family Conference

Special conferences that are frequently arranged abroad for the families helped them very much. I learned that the family conference that was arranged as part of Kumbanad Convention (2002-03) brought happiness to several families. The Bible studies, discussions and testimonies that are presented in such conferences would definitely give an opportunity for self examination.

5. Take Disciplinary Actions

The Assembly should excommunicate those who go for divorce and remarriage after the divorce. All believers who are directly or indirectly involved in these should be disciplined. Not only that, the minister who performs the unbilical remarriage (after divorce) should also be disciplined by his local Assembly. Other Assemblies should not receive such excommunicated believers to their fellowship. Definitely this would create a fear in the hearts of the people to keep them away from divorce and remarriage after divorce.

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